The geek view

As a self-styled geek, I understand the geek mentality. It’s actually very simple. Everything should make sense scientifically. Which means if you do the same experiment, you should get the same result. Which also means that it should be mathematically predictable. Which means that people should behave the same when given the same conditions.

And there lies the rub. People DONT do that. They don’t behave the same way each time. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not fun to try find those patterns. Those rules of human interaction.

Why make rules?

We thrive in rules. The world is too complicated. The only way to solve a problem is by breaking it down into a simple form. We put limits and boundaries. Creativity in a box.

That’s why chess and maths hold such an attraction. All those rigidly define rules. It makes it so simple to know if it’s right or wrong. But from those rigid rules you can still give birth to a million original ideas.

So we want to find out the rules of human interaction. Coz if we found those rules, we know we could play a mean game and come out winning on top.

After all, how can you plan a strategy to win when you don’t even know the rules?

If the rules aren’t there…

But if the rules aren’t there… we get lost. Not knowing what to do next. Not knowing what we’re doing wrong. The worst case scenario is Sheldon from Big Bang Theory (tv series).

He sometimes has very valid points that could only be thought of by such a geek. ****

**For example: **Why buy birthday presents? If you do, then your friend will have to buy you a present of equal or greater value at your birthday and you’ll have to repeat the same at his next birthday.

In the end, after years and years of doing this, the only way you can get any benefit is if he dies after you already got your present so that you don’t have to give him one. Worst case scenario is that you’ll both be tied or he’ll have one more present than you. And when you add in the costs of travelling to the store and the headache of finding a present, it’s a no win situation for both.

That’s what happens when rules don’t exist. We geeks get lost.

How do we make these rules?

Of course, to generate theories of human patterned behaviour, you’ll need data. And the most data you’ll find is in human relationships. You’ll find very little when you study a man alone.

I personally find it fun to watch people when I hang out. Just watching their behaviour from far away and  trying to understand them just from their body language.

Tiny things I’ve noticed

I haven’t figured out what makes all humans tick yet. But I have noticed a few tiny things.

1. To include a person into a conversation just look at them. Our eyes are powerful things. Windows to the soul? Maybe. Strong indicators of where your attention is directed? Definitely. When someone looks at you and makes eye contact, you’re linked. You’re in the conversation. So if you’re talking to someone but don’t want his friend to feel left out, just look over at the friend every few seconds. He’ll surprisingly feel included.

2. Pointing the way. I’m walking with a friend and we’re talking at the same time. I want us to go left. Do I have to tell him? No. I just gesture left with my arm and we start to walk that way. I’m willing to bet he doesn’t even notice it. When our minds are engaged with conversation, our unconscious happily controls our bodies.

3. People want you to do well when you give them a talk. They’ve come all the way there, they’re gonna listen to you talk. They don’t want to be bored. So they actually want you to do well. They’ll try as hard as possible to enjoy your talk. Even if you’re halfway decent, you have it made. And on the off-chance that you’re completely horrible… well, everyone’s usually that bad. It’s not worth it to remember you.

It’s always interesting to see how people behave.